Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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