There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
