This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
a search helicopter?!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
