At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
