Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had to cum in my sink.
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