The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
