I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
