flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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