I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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