There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
