I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
