I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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