please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
