My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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