i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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