it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize