no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
