I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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