yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
