did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize