That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
