turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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