She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
