I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
