So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
