What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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