you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
