it wasn't lemon gatorade
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
