Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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