You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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