playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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