At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
