I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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