Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
