butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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