don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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