Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
