I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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