I am in a vortex of obligation.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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