Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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