Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
