My nipple is on Facebook.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
