it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
