In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
