We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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