If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize