11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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