just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
