The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
