is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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