And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
