I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize