So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
