Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
