So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize