But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
