I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
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The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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