My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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