he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize